I Lost My Sister In The Paris Attacks

Hello World.
You may have heard about a post where a 22-year old writes about her nightmare at Bataclan.

Let me tell you now how it was when I was informed that my sister also had to die that night.

First of all I want to tell you a bit about my sister:
My sister was the sunshine of my family.
When we were sad she told us to keep our heads up and our god will help us to get through this time. She always made us strong with her incredible smile. My parents told me once that our smiles are the lights of their lifes. My sister was the best thing ever happen to me. She always helped me. She always showed me why living is a wonderful adventure.

Her whole life was an adventure. She enjoyed her life to the fullest. She travelled a lot and she had the chance to see many amazing places on this earth.
My sister helped little girls in Pakistan with their education and she fought for them so that they could go to school. She wanted to help them as much as possible.
You have to know that I’m spending a year abroad right now.
The last time I’ve seen her was in January when we spend our vacation in Dubai before I flew to Australia to spend my year there.
I never believed I would see her for the last time forever. We enjoyed the time and had heaps of fun.
The last goodbye was something special and I cried a lot but I thought it would be for only one year until I see her again.



I watched the soccer game against Germany with my host-family. It was in the morning here in Australia. We made fun about friday the 13th. (In Australia friday was already over.) Talked about some funny pranks and stuff. When we heard the first explosion on TV, we thought someone in the stadium ignites fireworks.
In that moment I never believed that this day is going to be one of the worst days of many lifes.
After the game was finished everything went so fast.
My mom called me and said “Look at the TV! Look at the TV!

And on that point my own nightmare began.

Everybody was in panic. My host-family asked me if everything is ok and what my mom said to me.
I knew my sister was in Paris to meet some of her friends and I wanted to ask her on WhatsApp if she is well and what is happening there.
(I think everybody who knows somebody in Paris was writing their loved ones to ask if they are save.)
I waited and waited and after 20 minutes I tried to call my mom once again if my sister wrote something to her and whats happening over there.
I already knew whats happening because I saw everything on TV but I wanted to know if its really happening and not a bad joke. I wanted to her it from her.

It was such a big trouble. I began to cry because I wasnt able to reach my mom on phone.
I was totally panicked because nobody talked to me. Neither my friends nor my parents or my brother.
I didnt know whats going on. It was awful. I felt lost.
After 2 hours of uncertainty I finally got a call.
I was happy that somebody was finally trying to call me. I hoped it would be my sister telling me she’s ok and nothing happened.
But I was wrong.
It was my moms number. But it wasnt my mom or dad who were calling me.
It was a man who told me I have to keep calm and sit down because they have something to tell me.

You will never know how much I loved you. I’m so thankful that I’m able to call you my sister because you were something special. You can’t imagine how thankful I am for the time we had together.
It wasn´t for a long time but every second we had is valuable. You were a great human and its so sad that nobody will hear your laugh and your beautiful voice ever again. You gave something special to me.
It´s an everlasting secret of you and me.

My sister died at the hospital after one of those men shot her down.
She was bleeding until her heart stopped beating.
She was together with her friends until her last breath.
One of those friends called me from my mothers phone.
A world broke down for me.
He told me she was unconscious before she died. She felt nothing. She wasn’t in pain.
The last thing she did was laugh.
And that’s how I will keep her in my memory.

This post was written by Michelle Lavie, in memory of her sister. All our hearts and prayers go out to her and all the other victims of the Paris Attacks, including those they left behind.

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